do you LIVE or simply EXIST

What makes us happy? Is it money? A thing? A loved one? The answer lies within us. Each of us will have a different answer. The real question, however, is “Is what you are doing, getting you what you want?”

I particularly enjoy how Hayden puts it. I’ve never read the book, but this passage has stood out for me:

From the book, Wanderer, By Sterling Hayden.

“What does a man need - really need? A few pounds of food each day, heat and shelter, six feet to lie down in - and some form of working activity that will yield a sense of accomplishment. That’s all - in the material sense, and we know it. But we are brainwashed by our economic system until we end up in a tomb beneath a pyramid of time payments, mortgages, preposterous gadgetry, playthings that divert our attention for the sheer idiocy of the charade.


The years thunder by, The dreams of youth grow dim where they lie caked in dust on the shelves of patience. Before we know it, the tomb is sealed.

Where, then, lies the answer? In choice. Which shall it be: bankruptcy of purse or bankruptcy of life?”

I’ve asked myself, “what makes me happy.” Often, I’ve found I don’t know. I’m too busy just trying to get from day to day. I’m in survival mode. ‘Happy’ is something you get only after you get out of survival mode.

I go to work, earn money, pay the bills, go home, eat/tv/sleep, wake up, go to work…… It’s an endless cycle. A cycle I must break.

Living my life in such an endless cycle is the same as living on autopilot (Read “5 signs you are on autopilot” at iwillchangeyourlife.com). Sometimes I feel I am stuck in the “safety” level of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. I can’t advance to ‘belonging,’ ‘esteem,’ or ’self-actualization’ until I satisfy the need for safety/security.

I can’t satisfy the need for safety/security unless I can earn more money. Which, if I have more money, I spend more. Which makes me need more. Which makes me feel less secure. Which makes need to earn more……

I know, I know. The problem here is the brainwashing Hayden talks about above. But at least I recognize the problem, now. Now, it’s time plan how I will end the ’sheer idiocy of the charade.’

1. Explore your feelings. What will make you happy? Then work toward that.
2. Recognize the charade. - What are you doing now that needs to stop
3. Define the life you want to live that will get you to happiness.
4. Plan the steps to get you to that life.
5. Consider the consequences of changing. - Are you ready for them?
6. Make the changes (One step at a time? or All at once? That’s up to you.)
7. Review your choices. Are you still happy? - Adjust as needed.