do you LIVE or simply EXIST

photo credit: jessica.ebrey

This guest post is from Fredrik Öhrn, a writer, based in Bangkok, Thailand, who blogs in English at www.careofasia.com and in Swedish at http://www.ifred.se.

I signed up for an Adventure race a while back. Adventure racing in Thailand means, Jungle- running, Mountainbiking, Kayaking, swimming and a few other surprise obstacles along the way. The duration of the race is usually somewhere around 6 hours.

So I had signed up, I ha a partner (you do adventure racing, usually in teams of two or more) and the date of the race was drawing closer. One week before, I got a cold. I was not feeling up for this race at all. Three days to go, and the cold was worse than ever.

Then I let go, I saw myself off the cold, running through the Jungle with a perfect stride, jumping on my bike just to see myself flying down (and up) the hills surrounding The River Kwai. The only thing I did not see myself doing was kayaking - but that is another story. Of course I was not going to have a cold at the time of the race.

The Race
Raceday came, it had been raining heavily the day before and we were all kind of excited to get muddy, working ourself through the jungle and The River.

The race started at 8.40 - we all took off on our bikes, after about 20 minutes we reached the first transition area and we switched to running.

No trails, just trees, leaves and grass. And hills. It started going uphill shortly after the start, up, up and up. Exhusting most of the time and at times it was tricky to get by the rolling rocks without causing an avalanche. We had to run with our helmets on for protection - but there is really only so much a bicycle helmet can do against falling rocks after all.

We reached a part where it flattened out a bit and we got on a nice trail, I was feeling strong and took a moment to look around - WOW! Fantastic! It was almost like running indoors, in a corridor. Bamboo trees covering both the sides of the trail and we were almost totally covered by the same trees from above, it was magic.

We were jogging, not very fast, I got goosebumps all over my body - there I was running in the jungle, beautiful landscape surrounding me, I felt good, this is life - I am truly alive!

We finished the run, got back on our bikes and rode them to the river.

The River Kwai
Everyone knows about this river, everyone has seen the movie, heard about the bridge and we all know the name of this river. The River - The River Kwai.

We stopped for some drinking water, got ourselves a kayak and jumped in. We were now paddling on the River Kwai.

My arms started aching after about 7 minutes in the kayak, the trip down the river became more of a pain that it should have been. It was quiet, we passed a couple of beautiful monestaries where the nuns were sitting on huge porches overlooking the river, probably wondering what we all were doing.

I could have told them: We were alive and kicking, having a blast, feeling the pain in our bodies and enjoying it, thanks to the endorphines, the river, the mountains and the great outdoors.

After kayaking and then swimming in the same river, we went on a long jungle run, running in rivers, climbing rope ladders and at times it felt like you were on a set of an old Vietnam-war movie, minus the guns.

We finished the race after 5 hours and 21 minutes in 6th place out of many teams. We were tired and we were hungry but very happy!

Sometimes you have to take the effort, to sign up, buy the ticket, get out of the couch, turn off your TV, go somewhere and see something different. It may be a struggle at first, you might be a little bit intimidated or even afraid, but do it anyway. It will put a big smile on your face and you will feel so much more alive afterwards that you would wonder why you even considered not doing it.

The 7 steps:

1. Pick a goal

2. Make necessary preparations

3. Take small steps towards your goal

4. As you approach it - make sure you are relaxed.

5. Have fun along the way, feel how you are alive.

6. Have fun reaching the goal

7. Enjoy finding a new goal and a new challenge.

This is true for any goal as well as for life - it’s really 7 steps - where the goal is what you want to do with your life. Don’t feel stressed, feel relaxed and keep taking small steps towards your goal.

Fredrik Öhrn

Sunday’s are self-help Guest Column day where I find an article I think appropriate for this site.
Today’s article is from Michael McGrath, Focus - Your Power To Create

Photo by Rickydavid

Unfortunately the majority of people on our lavish little green planet are not happy with their ‘lot’ in life. They are living lives of quiet desperation, unsatisfied with their relationships, careers or finances.

What is the main reason for this dissatisfaction? The main reason I believe this is so is due to a lack of understanding about the nature of our universe which can be directly linked to our belief conditioning from childhood.

As a child we begin to replicate the conditioning of our parents. A person’s beliefs and values are often passed from generation to generation until someone down the generations either has a life-changing experience or consciously reorganises or changes their belief system.

Your beliefs and values determine your focus and a key point I make in all my writings on personal development is the simple truth that “your focus determines your reality”. Focus sets in motion the Law of Attraction. (See Wealth Beyond Reason for instructions on using the law of attraction.)

The internal dialogue and imaginings of your mind are guided by your focus and your focus is reflected in your thinking. Your thinking becomes automatic and therefore this becomes your automatic creation system.

If you are not currently living a life that is in correspondence with your desires it is due to your internal automatic creation system being out of alignment with your goals. Simply put this means: Your focus is on what you do not want instead of what you want!

Let’s say you have bills piling up everywhere and no way of paying them. When you receive post through the mail what is your first thought? I bet it goes something like this, “oh no not more bills”. Where is your focus directed?

Why do the rich get richer and the poor get poorer? Well a rich man has money and he knows it. He sees wealth all around him. The poor person sees lack and concentrates on it. Can you see the difference in focus?

Now there are there are two basic ways to redirect your focus. The first is to change your beliefs so that your focus becomes more automatic in the direction that you wish it to go. The second way is to consciously redirect your attention to situations, people or events that correspond to a new belief.

This, however, is often easier said than done. For example examine the beliefs of a racist who thinks that he is superior to another person due to his heritage, skin colour, or ethnic origins. Now any right thinking person knows that these beliefs have no foundation in reality (subjective or otherwise). So in order to change these beliefs, at a core level, the racist would need to have some contact with other racial groups that have equal or better results in areas of their lives than he does. If he believes he is more intelligent then he would need to see that there are highly intelligent people of all races. If he believes that he is more prone to being successful because of his genetics then he would need to see that there are people of all races who achieve success with ease. If he believes that he is more equipped to overcome obstacles than members of another race then he would need to know that people from all walks of life and different cultures have achieved against seemingly insurmountable odds at great hardship to themselves and so on!

The problem with this is FOCUS! In most cases the racist does not want to see these things. He focuses on the situations, people and events that correspond and reinforce his beliefs! In extreme circumstances such a person will not even be in the company, correspond with, or listen about members of the group he is racist against.

You and I do exactly the same thing everyday. If your life is similar today to yesterday, last week or last year it is primarily because your focus has remained the same. Your thoughts yesterday where the same as last week and if your thoughts and focus are the same today then you can expect tomorrow to bring the same results!

If your beliefs are challenged by what you see, hear or experience many times you simply disregard the information and continue ‘blindly’ believing what you chose to believe. We filter our reality so that is reinforces our beliefs. We need to break free from this self-imposed brain-washing and redirect our focus on the things that will reinforce a new belief until we actually come to belief it.

For example take a couple in a ‘bad’ relationship. They come home from work and just know that they are going to have an argument with their spouse. Sure enough they arrive home and argue about who is taking the dog for a walk, what to watch on TV or why they argue so much! Where is the focus in this relationship?

Let’s say they decide to try an experiment in beliefs and focus. They look at what IS working in the relationship. They recall the reasons why they first became a couple and begin to reinforce the things they have in common. Their focus is beginning to shift. Although they will probably fall back into some old routines of arguing again if they keep their focus on their shared interests and the things in their relationship that are working what do you think the effect will be?

Try this little experiment yourself. Choose a person who annoys you in some way and that you can’t avoid but would if the choice where yours. A work colleague is a good example. Can you think of one? OK, what are you focusing on about that person? I bet it is all the things they do that annoy you. Try to think of something they do that you admire of that you like. This can be sometimes difficult but remember that every person has good and bad qualities so try not to become too polarised about people thinking them either good or bad - they are just human beings.

Now for a few days try your best to focus on the things you like or admire about them and watch what happens.

After you have tried this little experiment try other small ones in other areas of your life that you wish to improve.

About The Author

Michael McGrath operates several successful websites including the product review sites http://hypnosis.personal-development.info & http://www.personal-development.info/subliminals.html . His sites test & review the best in their industry.

Sunday’s are self-help Guest Column day where I find an article I think appropriate for this site.
Today’s article is from Becky Kimes, Are You Unconsciously Limiting Your Wealth Potential?  It is part of the growing Law of Attraction category.

Photo by PPDIGITAL

Unlimited financial abundance is your birthright!!

Sounds great doesn’t it, but do you really believe it? It’s not surprising if you don’t.

Many of us don’t believe we have access to unlimited financial abundance because we were raised in a culture that places severe limitations on our creative abilities to attract money. These limitations begin during early childhood when our basic beliefs about everything are being formed.

Think back to when you were a child. What did you consistently hear and experience regarding money?

Did you hear that “money doesn’t grow on trees” or “money is the root of all evil”?

Did people in your household fight about not having enough money?

Did your dad grow surly and silent when it was time to pay the bills?

Was your mom afraid to ask your dad for more money if an unexpected financial emergency came up?

Were vacations eagerly anticipated or were they actually stressful because the family was going on vacation even if they “couldn’t afford it”?

Whatever the situation, you consciously and unconsciously absorbed those beliefs about money and wealth. This became your belief system or paradigm.

Many of us are completely unaware of the unconscious belief systems that are governing our attitudes, behaviors, expectations and comfort level regarding how much money we think we deserve and actually attract.

Do this little exercise with me.

Imagine for a moment that a complete stranger walks up to you on the street and hands you a cashier’s check for one million dollars. This stranger tells you that the money is a special gift and is unconditionally yours-no strings attached.

How would you instantly react?

1. Would you nervously look around for the hidden cameras?

2. Would you absolutely refuse the gift and even feel some resentment towards the stranger for putting you in such a predicament?

3. Would you accept the gift but then feel guilty and make immediate plans on how you were going to give the money away?

4. Would you graciously accept the money with heart-felt thanks and happily go to your bank cash the check and enjoy the money?

Your initial “gut reaction” to the above scenario allows some of your unconscious core beliefs about money bubble up to the surface.

If you picked one of the first 3 answers you definitely have some inherent beliefs that are severely limiting your birthright of prosperity. But the good new is-they are only beliefs. Keep in mind that beliefs are not truth. They are just a perception and an acceptance of the truth. What’s great about beliefs is that you can change them and choose ones that support you and are in alignment with unlimited wealth potential

If you picked number four, congratulations!!! You’re well on your way to unlimited financial abundance!!!

About The Author

Becky Kimes is a professional coach, speaker and author who specializes in helping women break through the invisible barriers keeping them from manifesting their dreams.

She works with individuals, and conducts live workshops and tele-seminars. More information can be found at http://www.goingforsuccess.com

I’d like to offer you the opportunity to write a guest column for doyouLIVEorsimplyEXIST.

Guest columns should fit with the theme of this site: discovering what it means to get out of the day to day EXISTENCE and start enjoying life by LIVING.

Please use the contact page if you would like to contact me about this.

To LIFE !

Sunday’s are self-help Guest Column day where I find an article I think appropriate for this site.
Today’s article is from Paul Evans, Get Creative to Relieve Stress

Photo by Kazze

There are many things we can do to relieve stress, ranging from small routine changes (such as avoiding rush hour traffic) to large drastic life changes (such as quitting our stressful jobs!).

At the smaller end of the scale, I believe one of the best ways that you can relieve stress is to ‘get creative’.

What can you do to get creative? Anything you like, as long as ‘you’ do the creating!

It could be physical or mental creativity (preferably both), big or small. For example, is it about time you changed your garden around? Changed those dull old patio slabs? Now would be a good idea to get creative.

To relieve stress you have to do something you can be proud of. You need to be able to stand back and say to yourself, `Yep, I did that and I did a terrific job’.

Take the example above, if you’re not physically able (and would have to employ someone to do the labouring for you) you could still design the garden yourself! Teach yourself a little about landscape gardening and design the best garden you can. If you are able to labour for yourself, design and build it entirely yourself! And most important of all, give yourself a pat on the back once you’ve finished and be proud of your hard work.

But it doesn’t have to be so big (or so expensive). You could make a model aeroplane, do your own painting, and make something from clay, or anything at all.

One of my friends recently bought his own materials and built a magnificent kite! He said it felt great to finish it, but when he stood back and actually saw his achievement (i.e. when it was flying) he felt truly elated. Now that’s stress relief!

Form a personal point of view, having suffered with a phobia of public speaking for so long, I always wanted to set up my own website - to be able to communicate in another way, freely, without the troubles I would usually have. When I eventually found a way to set up my site the pride and sense of achievement I felt was enormous. And with that pride and achievement came the stress relief I was after.

So from the examples above I hope you can see how you too can get creative to relive stress. The list of things you could do is endless.

Now it’s time for the hard part. . . getting started!

About The Author

(c) Paul Evans

Helping those who suffer with anxiety, phobias, panic disorders, stress, and all things related.

Suffer with an anxiety disorder or phobia, and the stress that comes with it? For more information and directions to the latest self-help techniques, be sure to visit my website at http://www.love-my-phobia.com

Sunday’s are self-help Guest Column day where I find an article I think appropriate for this site.
Today’s article is from Mark V. Hansen, Push Yourself to Excel  

Push yourself to excel. Go beyond your idea of what is possible. If you lift weights, push yourself on from the 10th repetition to 11, then to 12, and then 13, and so on.

It is in those additional repetitions that the advancement and growth occur.

Do the things you didn’t think were possible for you to do.
Read more »

Sunday’s are self-help Guest Column day where I find an article I think appropriate for this site.
Today’s article is from Barry Taylor, Growing as a Person thru Self-Discipline

In order for us to become a progressively better person, it is necessary to learn to become truly responsible for our thoughts, actions and consequences related to those activities. Being responsible goes had and hand with having self-discipline, and having self-discipline is akin to being responsible. Self-discipline to me is the ability to get yourself to take the proper action whether you feel like it or not.
Read more »

Sunday’s are self-help Guest Column day where I find an article I think appropriate for this site.
Today’s article is from Mark V. Hansen, Enjoy Your Problems, Understand Your Problems, Learn from Your Problems

In The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, Mark Twain tells the delightful story of how Tom gets all the other boys in the neighborhood to paint his fence for him.

He has been told that he can’t go fishing until the fence is painted. What a chore!
Read more »