do you LIVE or simply EXIST

photo credit: andrea.pacelli

Do you know where you are going?

All of us, I’m sure, have felt aimless, confused, and unmotivated. There are times when I just want to sit in front of the TV and do nothing. A lot of the time it’s not that I don’t want to do anything, it’s because I don’t know what to do. Escaping this self-imposed exile can be difficult, but not impossible.

The first, and most important step, is to want to do something and be willing to act on it, even just a little bit at a time.

1. Find one goal

To begin, decide what your goal is. Don’t try to do too much at one time. Decide a single, realistic, doable goal. If you have too much on your plate, you will lose energy and become frustrated. Choose one goal and focus only on that goal.

2. What’s your “why”

Find your “why.” Your “why” is the reason you need to accomplish your goal. If your reason is strong enough, it will inspire you.

For example, my “why” for moving my income online is so I can work from anywhere. I think about how great it would be to take my work with me on vacation. I know that sounds strange to most people, but think about this: why are your vacations so short? Usually it’s because you only have so much money for your vacation and you have to go back to work!

What happens if you decide to go on a 3 month vacation to Europe? If I have my job with me, I can rent an apartment in Paris, see the sites during the day while America sleeps, and work in the evening when America wakes up. I don’t have to go home when I run out of money, because I’m earning money to live on every day.

That’s my “why!” It excites me. Find your reason and get excited about it. Dream it. No, do more than dream. Want it. Desire it! Be driven to have it! If your “why” doesn’t drive you to accomplish your goal, then your dream isn’t big enough. Dream bigger.

3. Build on the dream

You can build anticipation by setting a date to make it happen. Get excited about that date and try to make it the most important date in your life.

Post your goal somewhere where you can see it every day. Print it in big letters. Maybe even put pictures below it like a vision board. Think about your goal every time you see it. Dream about. Stay focused on it

4. Commit to doing it by being accountable to others

Being accountable to others means making your goal public. Let everyone know what your goal is. Talk about it often. Give them updates on your progress. Discuss it with new colleagues or friends. Keep in on your mind as often as possible. If you’ve read “the Secret,” you’ll see the wisdom of this.

When you seem to lose motivation for your goal (which is normal), your friends, family and colleagues can help bolster your motivation and keep you on track. They may even have suggestions or ways of helping you accomplish it.

5. Be persistent

Whatever happens, don’t give up on your dreams. Don’t give up on what you want, even if you are losing steam or feeling like it’s not worth it. Slumps in motivation are normal. The path of motivation is like a hilly road. There are ups, there are downs, and sometimes there are detours. But stick with it.

6. Remind yourself daily

Read about your goal to keep it fresh in your mind. If you want to travel, read about places you want to visit. Read about the history. Read comments from others who have been there. Write out your itinerary of where you want to go and what you want to see. Don’t write your plan for IF you go, write your plan for WHEN you go. Make it definite and make is solid.

7. Think about the positive

Concentrate on the benefits of your dream, not the difficulties. Acknowledge to your self, that yes, it may be difficult, but how will you feel when you make your dream come true. Don’t let negative thoughts, or negative people, affect your dream. Dream stealers are everywhere. Don’t listen to them. They simply don’t understand how important your dream is, or they want to stop you from accomplishing your dream because it reminds them of how unhappy they are.

Concentrate only on the positive aspects of your desire.

I like to write. I can’t say that I am “gifted,” but I like to write more than most of the people I know. Writing is something that I enjoy… when I can get around to it. Writing is something I hate… when I am forced to write.

Many of you, I’m sure, know just what I’m talking about: Sit down and write about something YOU want to write about, and you could go on all day. But sit down to write a report for school, or a freelance assignment for someone else, and suddenly writing becomes a chore.

Recently I’ve wondered, do I want to try to be a full-time freelancer? Full-time freelancing would give me some of the freedom I’ve been seeking. It’s a way to earn money from anywhere, without having to be tied to a specific place.

I own the “Well Fed Writer” books. Commercial freelance writing seems like a lucrative way of earning money writing as well - if it really is all it’s cracked up to be.

This will be a difficult decision to make. I can try full-time freelancing and travel everywhere I’ve always wanted to travel, but possibly have little in the way of insurance or benefits. Or I can stay put in my cushy government job with it’s great benefits, but end up living the clichéd “life of quiet desperation.”

I guess what I look at it like that, the decision becomes a little easier. I need to locate freelancing opportunities.

Photo by Lee Cullivan

I love the poem Invictus. When I read it, I imagine a man facing off against insurmountable odds, but refusing to give up. As silly as it may sound, it gives me inspiration.

The author of Invictus, William Ernest Henley, is said to have written the poem from his hospital bed to show his resilience after one diseased foot was amputated, and doctors wanted to cut off the other as well.

As I said, it gives me inspiration. It makes me want to fight for what I want. It makes me want to be in charge of my life.

But it got me thinking… aren’t I already in charge of my life right now? No. Instead of me running my life, life is running me. Like most of us, I have been operating on autopilot.

We have been programmed how to behave, how to act, even how to think. This programming, these core beliefs and behaviors, are housed and run in the subconscious mind.

How can the subconscious control you? Think of your subconscious as a giant naval ship. You, your conscious mind, is the captain in the bridge giving orders, the subconscious is the crew of the vast ship, keeping it running, and making things happen as you order them.

For example, the crew takes care of the automatic systems, like making sure you keep breathing when you are asleep; keep your heart beating, digestion happening, etc.

The crew takes care of those things you have been trained to do, like walking. How often do you think about shifting your balance as you walk, which muscles to use and just how much effort is needed from each muscle? The crew takes care of it. They’ve been trained.

The crew is even part of your thoughts. Your crew repeats everything back to you as you think it, like an echo in a canyon. Your thoughts will echo, unheard, among the crew, and the crew will repeat your thoughts back to you when they think you need to hear them. I could never be as successful as that person, you think. Then, when you are presented with a great idea, the crew reminds you, I could never be successful, causing you to give up on the idea, or sabotage you should you try anyway.

The problem with this setup is, your random thoughts are always being interpreted by the crew as the captain’s orders. There’s so many thoughts, the crew go scurrying around the ship trying to do everything at once, leaving the ship adrift, floating along with the flow.

I want to lose weight, you think. Umm that chocolate looks good… I’m hungry… I’m fat… A steak would be good right now… I should run… I hate exercise… Food… Don’t eat… Eat… Who is that guy again, what’s his name… My memory is terrible… I have a great memory…… On an on, an endless steam of contradictory orders are issued by the captain to the crew.

To take command of where your ship is traveling, you need all hands working together. To do that, you must be a leader. Leaders make decisions and stick to them.

Be in control!

Giving orders to the crew involves reminding them often of your desires. As negative thoughts enter your mind, stop them in their tracks. Acknowledge you had that negative thought, but tell yourself again what you want. Talk to yourself in a mirror. Look yourself in the eye and command your crew, I have a great memory… I am successful… I am (whatever it is you desire)…

Be persistent!

Do not give up on what you want to accomplish in life. Do not permit the opinions of others to guide you away from what you truly want. You must resolve to actively combat the forces life throws at you and refuse to give up. When life throws an obstacle in your path, do not give up! Either find a way to overcome the obstacle, or find a new path around it.

Be positive!

There’s enough negativity in the world. Some people don’t like to see others succeed. They do what they can to prevent it. Sometimes they don’t intentionally want to be mean, but they are reacting to the echoes of negativity they have trained into their own crew.

The best way to combat another’s negativity is your own bravery. Do not be afraid to disagree. You don’t have to actively confront a negative person to bravely disagree with them and tell them what you think. Try do inspire them with your positive desire for success.

Be a leader!

No one will give you what you want in life just because you want it. You must actively pursue your dreams, or they will be simply that: a dream. Take charge of your ship and guide it where you want it to go.

A captain never starts a voyage without knowing where he wants to go using his charts and maps. A voyage without a destination is simply cruising on autopilot; it won’t get your anywhere or accomplish anything.

Create your own map. Decide where you want to go, when you want to get there, and set sail!

Leo at Zen Habits has done something amazing. He released everything on his blog to the public domain.

I’m sitting here in shock of what he’s done. He just gave away all his content to anyone who wants it!

That post is getting tons of comments from people pointing out just what he has done, but Leo is doing it anyway. He said “If my little experiment fails, at least it will be instructive to others. Without failures there can be no successes.”

Leo, my hat is off to you. I am eagerly waiting to see how this affects the success of your already-successful blog.